How to deal with your emotions after bullying?
Actually, I feel very depressed over a bullying episode that happened many years ago at university and writing this message as a form of therapy and perhaps you can share your experiences too.
I had a hard time at school, a even tougher time at College and the most horrible time at university possible which left me reeling and my self esteem in the gutter.
I was a naive, diffident, immature and rather boring student at university. 1st year had trouble making friends and just concentrated in my studies. I did not know how to make friends and was not your archetypal student as wasn't into clubbing, drinking etc. I was a very mild and passive student and a rather gullible one too.
2nd Year, by chance as I was looking for accommodation with my solitary friend or could say acquaintance and bumped into the bully in the summer as he was also looking for a flat with his friend so we decided to get a house together.
From dealing with the bully in the 1st year he was the most quietest person I had ever met. He used to follow people round but not say anything. On day one he started to dominate on the allocation of roooms. I managed to get the biggest room which he clearly did not like. He dominated everything in the house including food since he had a car and what was watched on TV. It was his TV and he choose the programmes even though I paid my share for the TV licence.
I once told him to get lost since I hated one dictating to me on everything and he got upset and suddenly I was public enemy number one. He tried to ignore him even more and would blank me entirely and try to irritate me. You could see he was on a vengeance path and hated me by the way he spoke to me. I really did not know what to do and just stayed in my room all the time just to escape him but he would still try to get to me by snatching things off me and banging on my door. I think I even irritated him more as I was untidy and messy. Neither of our social skills were particularly good
One day, over something very petty he hit me twice giving me a cut. I apologised just to keep the peace but he didn't want to know- wished I taken some action against him but had no support from anyone. I didn't want to move out as didn't want him to have won and secondly I know this sounds super ficial but liked my room and wanted the house for next year with others. I felt I deserved this after being treated like a prisioner. In hindsight should have moved out.
In fact, he was clever and I got out manoeuvred over the house and he took my friend with him as well so got truly pulverised. That was the only time, I got really visibly upset when I found out. He had taken everything away from me.
I carried onto the final year but the bully would just smirk at me which was upsetting and on one occasion would try to stare me out. I avoided any subjects where he was in the same class. Only good thing I was able to bury the memories for the final year and could concentrate on my exams. Unfortunately, I failed to make any friends as did not trust anyone.
I guess I was the classic bully's victim, small and weak, no Friends and kept to myself. The bullying just weakened me further and had no ammunition to fire back. The bully was narcissistic but sure he had been severely bullied in the past hence he enjoyed being on the other side of the coin. You could tell he really enjoyed bullying me.
The consequences has been severe and missing graduation hurt after working so hard and my sole objective of university was to get a degree which meant nothing in the end. However, could not work for few years and was on anti depressants due to PTD. I managed to get my life on track but the memories have come back to haunt me recently and not sure why.
I would be interested in your experiences and how you have been able to deal with your emotions as I feel terribly angry at myself and the bully. The bully is constant on my mind which is leaving me very depressed and upset. I really do not know what to do.
Do Anti-depressants really work?
I've been more depressed than ever in my life. Went through the last two years in a custody battle, and court seems to never end. Now, I've been depressed and have extreme anxiety for the past two months. I was thinking of getting on anti-depressants to relieve myself. Do they work well? What is the feeling you get when using them? Will they help me with my mood swings, and continued ruminating and OCD?
I've not had a period in 5 months, can i still get pregnant?
I've been having a fair amount of unprotected sex for the last few weeks. Since then i've noticed that my nipples have become increasingly sore and i've felt a bit under the weather. The only problem is i don't think its been long enough for be to be getting symptoms and i also haven't had a period on 5/6months. Is there any chance i could actually be pregnant?
I've also just started a dose of anti depressants...could this cause any symptoms?
Please help :)
searching prescription prices online?
i take several anti-depressant meds. they are very expensive. since its the first of the year , i have to pay full price until i meet my $3,000 deductable. the total comes to $886.00 for three months. thats not counting $100 for the doctor visit or the monthly insurance premium of $217. i'm currently unemployed and can not afford the price for these meds. it took a year and a half to find this drug "cocktail" that actually works for me. i've been doing great. my question is....i'm looking online at these "cyber" drug stores , many in canada. how do i know that these are legit ? my doctor even told me to look online. thank you for any help.......brent
Is it wrong for a 16 year old (me) to be on perscription Xanax, Zoloft, Propanol, Klonopin.?
I have Severe anxiety and Clinical depression. I take 2 50mg Zoloft anti-depressants every 24 hours, I take 1 10mg Xanax every 6 hours, I take a 15mg Klonopin when I am having panic attack, and I take 10mg Propanol when I have chest pains. I have a heart problem and my doctors don't know what it is. My panic disorder is horrible. So is my depression. These medictions I know help me. Without them I'd be feeling like I'd be having a heart atack 24/7. Like I used to. Are all these meds too much for me? I do not do any drugs btw.
Am i a sociopath? Please Answer...?
This is a long story, i will try not to bore you. I am sixteen diagnosed with major depression. I am constantly sick, i have no people i consider friends. I despise being out and about. I prefer staying inside alone. I've been asked out multiple times by this girl at my school, i say yes, i make out with her, then i don't talk to her for 3 weeks straight until she forgets about me. I haven't felt emotions in years, i don't feel love, lust, anger, irritation, or frustration. I don't feel love for my parents or my seven year old sister who apparently held me in high regards. My little sister and my mother died in a car crash just recently. I went to the funeral because i was forced to, i felt no anguish or regret. I didn't cry or feel sadness of their leave. My dad told everyone i was in shock, but i don't think i was. I've been on multiple anti-depressants, none changing who i am. I can say i have no idea of a time i felt emotion. Other than curiosity of death and of who i am. I took 40 of my Zoloft to see what it was like to feel close to death. When i woke up and wasn't dead i moved on. I'm curious as to what is wrong with me. I still feel no sense of sadness to my parent's and sister's death. I would be curious to see what kind of replies i get.
To add some further details, I'm on the Soccer and Swim team. Although it does bore me... i wonder if being bored is an emotion?
